Nigel Farage the punk, and other photos the POLITICIANS don’t want you to see

Prepare to be AMAZED. The photo of Nigel Farage that the Ukip ESTABLISHMENT didn’t want you to see:

Photo: off Twitter, via @DanDanMcG. Click to enlarge, a bit

It’s not so much the fact that he’s such an awful rebel, with no respect for the great British institution of the police, that’s embarrassing for the Ukip leader. The real problem is that this photo was apparently taken in 1983 and Mr Farage still looks about 40.

Of course, it’s not just this damning and clearly not at all Photoshopped photo, which has been doing the rounds on Twitter because of its obvious veracity. There are dozens of equally upsetting Farage photos which his party apparatchiks have been desperately trying to ban.

For instance, his brief period as a warrior queen battling the Roman invasion of Britain:

Photoshop by me

Or that time he tried to lead an army of slaves and dragons to invade Westeros from across the Narrow Sea:

Photoshop by me

Or that time when he was Sarah Palin for a bit, dunno why:

Photoshop by me, again.

But of course it’s not just Mr Farage with a closet full of animated warrior skeletons. Politics is just full of these hidden secrets. Labour, for instance, have been desperately sitting on photographic evidence of Ed Miliband’s past as a flamboyant French centre-forward for Manchester United:

On me Ed, my son, maybe? Whatever. Photoshop by me

And Gordon Brown’s history as a Mafia don:

Photoshop by me

Although you think they’d be a bit prouder of Milibot Delta’s work with International Rescue:

Photoshop by me

And don’t forget the Tories. Everyone’s a huge fan of Michael Gove these days, but would they be if they knew that he was the communist dictator of China for 27 years?

Photoshop by me

And would the Tories be picking up in the polls if George Osborne’s nocturnal habits were more widely known?

Photoshop by me

And if the LESS flattering photos of David Cameron since he let his custard habit get out of hand were released?

Waffer-theen Photoshop by me

It’s all a giant conspiracy to conceal the truth from the British people.

More of this nonsense here, by the way…


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